Search This Blog

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My Top 5 "Mental" Football Personalities...



People always say you have to have a screw loose somewhere if you want to be a goalkeeper. Well I'm going to have a look at some of the players who are slightly outside of the box called sanity. Every club has one, but I'm talking about those who've gained international recognition for their antics.

5. Ian Holloway



Well if you've seen that interview above you've had a brief insight of what type of character Ian Holloway is. I personally think he'll end up being the first man to write a book on analogies. Holloway has always been known for his quirky interviews, one of my favourites ones was when he explained how he was the man to be the Blackpool manager. He was quoted as saying "I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark." I don't think there has been a better manager to watch in an interview since Brian Clough.

There are other times where in post match interviews he would explain his thoughts on the game in strange analogies, I'm not sure whether he practiced them the night before or if he made them up on the spot, either way they can only make you smile. After being questioned on Blackpools attacking brand of football in their first season in the Premier League he explained it by saying "If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy."

I really hope that Blackpool stay up this season because this man is a major reason for you to stay up for Match Of The Day...

4. Raymond Domenech



Well what can we say about Raymond Domenech? He presided over the the embarrassing World Cup antics of the French National Team who were knocked out in the group stages. He also had a personal bust up with Nicolas Anelka during the tournament, but these aren't even the strangest events in his tenure as France Manager.

At the beginning of his reign he removed Robert Pires from the team. Pires was one of Frances finest players at the time and there were questions over the decision and what it was based on. He responded to the questions by saying "All parameters have to be considered [when selecting players] and I have added one by saying there is astrology involved". Basically it was revealed that the former Arsenal winger was dropped because he was a Scorpio... I let you figure that one out...

Even more ridiculous was his reaction after France were knocked out of Euro 2008. Instead of focusing on the game and his future when he was questioned on it in a post-match interview, he responded with "I have nothing to say about my job, but I will say that I want to marry Estelle." Now you tell me has there ever been anyone who's done anything like that? And you probably won't be surprised she said no...

On the footballing side of things before their World Cup play off against the Republic of Ireland. When he was talking about his opponents he described them as "a sort of England B side." I'm sure the Irish weren't to chuffed with that comparison. Anyway I think you get the point and I thinks that's enough of this strange gentleman.

3. Mario Balotelli

He's only new on the madness scene at the tender age of 20 but the Italian is as sublime as he his mental.



He started early with his antics, his parents were Ghanaian immigrants to Italy, and as a child Balotelli suffered from illness and the cramped lifestyle he was living didn't help him. His parents were advised by the Italian authorities to allow him to be fostered. Following this advise they did so and left him in the care of Francesco and Silvia Balotelli to ensure he is in a financially sound family who can ensure he gets the treatment he needed. His biological parents have tried to contact him and he branded them as "glory hunters" publicly and refuses to talk to them.

During his time with Inter he had many temper tantrums one of the most public ones was in a game against Palermo. Balotelli after a piece of sublime skill and power won a penalty, but after winning it he wanted to take it. Even when designated penalty taker positioned himself he refused to leave the penalty area until captain Javier Zanetti had to pull him away.



There was also the time when he was caught on camera wearing a AC Milan, I'm not to sure if Inter fans were too chuffed with that effort, to be honest I don't understand what possessed him to do something like that. The English equivalent would be Steven Gerrard being photographed in an Everton shirt...

Balotelli also had one of his tantrums after Inters famous Champions League victory over Barcelona at the San Siro, but this time their were consequences... Balotelli was going through what Carlo Ancelloti would call a "bad moment" with the Inter fans who decided to boo him through the match. In response to this Balotelli threw his shirt to the ground after the final whistle and gave a one finger salute to the Inter fans and walked off.

This wasn't the end of this, his colleague Marco Materazzi took exception to Balotellis behaviour and attacked him in the tunnel. A one Zlatan Ibrahimovic gave his eye witness account of the incident

"I saw that Materazzi was attacking him in the players’ tunnel and I’ve never seen anything like it,” Ibrahimovic said. “If I were him, I’d have left Mario alone, but Materazzi was attacking him and I was stunned. If Materazzi had attacked me like that, I would’ve decked him in a second!" “Materazzi was causing all sorts of trouble and in the Barcelona locker room we were amazed, all talking about it. A player should be proud after a win, not chase down a 20-year-old to berate him.” Now I'm not advocating violence or saying that Materazzi is a shrinking violet but this was the kind of reaction Baloteli drew from his colleagues.

Materazzi opinion (not actions) were further repeated through other players and their manager at the time Jose Mourinho. Most notably was Dejan Stankovic turning down an opportunity to adopt Balotelli “He’s like a child. I’m a father of three kids and we can’t take him by the collar, too." Well that was it for "Super Mario" at Inter and he in the end left for Manchester City. Fresh start I hear you say? Well not with this man...

At Manchester City Ballotelli has made 8 appearances scored 5 goals and collected 3 yellow cards and one red. These stats just show the Jekyll and Hyde nature of Super Mario...

2. Paul Gascoigne



How can we not mention Gazza in this? He was is as loopy as they come. I mean he had is alcohol problems which I would like to make clear weren't laughing matters but there's a lot more to him than that. Well because there were so many, I'm not going to be able to go through all his moments of madness but I've just picked out a few of my favourites.

Let's start with his "hit single" Fog On The Tyne. I don't think we need to go into too much detail on that one, take a look yourself.



I hope that your mentally fit to carry on reading after that bit of artistic genius. Gascoigne was also the player who injured himself seriously tackling an opponent. It was the 1991 FA Cup Final and Gascoigne was in the Spurs line up against Nottingham Forest. Gascoigne was visibly pumped up for the game and in the first half he lunged into a tackle on Forest defender Gary Charles. He ended up rupturing his cruciate ligaments and was out for a year. He also went on to extend his return from injury by hurting his knee further in an incident at a Newcastle nightclub.


There was also an incident where Gazza as he is affectionately know was sited in a pub an hour after an England game, still wearing his full England kit, boots included... There was also the moment when he burped into the microphone of an Italian TV station, he was fined £39,000 for his antics on this occasion.

If I'm honest with you I could write a book in his antics never mind an blog, on second thoughts, Thats already been done with his autobiography...

His most recent stunt was to turn up at the scene of an armed stand off between armed police and Britains most wanted man at the time Raoul Moat. He claimed that he and Moat had been good friends and that he could assist in the situation, he also brought a can of lager and some chicken for the fugitive. Police quickly found out that there was not connection between the men and escorted him away from the scene.


1. Rene "El Loco" Higuita

Come on, he's got to be number one, his middle name is "the crazy one", if your labeled crazy in Colombia it's got to count for something doesn't it? Now this guy would make the head of the goalkeepers union cringe with some of the stunts he pulled off in important games.

An example of Higuitas on pitch craziness was in Italia 90. Colombia were 1-0 down in extra time and trying to get back into the game. Then Higuita came out to pick up the ball. He received a pass from his defender and instead of clearing it he tried to take Cameroonian striker Roger Milla on and you guessed it Milla stole the ball of him and scored.



Another famous moment of craziness from our man Rene was his famous scorpion kick in a friendly against England. A normal goalkeeper when facing a deep raking ball into his six yard box would catch or maybe punch it, but not Higuita he decided to do it a bit differently...



Outside football Higuita acted as a go-between for Colombian drug lords... Yes you heard that right, he acted as the middleman during negotiations between the famous Pablo Escobar and Carlos Molina, who's daughter Escobar had kidnapped. For his services Higuita recieved $64,000. What Higuita didn't realise was that profiting from kidnap is a criminal offence, he ended up in prison for 7 months and missed the 1994 World Cup.

More recently in 2004 he was banned after failing a drug test when he was tested positive for cocaine. I mean who didn't see that coming? I mean look at the company he kept... I leave you with a few clips of Higuita just showing how mad he actually was...

No comments: